Because not every day is a good day…
A dear friend recently reached out to me. Although we hadn’t connected in a few weeks, she wanted to thank me for my posts that always “emanate joy.” She vulnerably shared that during this past year, she has found herself in a constant state of struggle but that my posts inspire her for a better tomorrow. I immediately responded with, “Wait… you must know that not every day is a good day here for me either,” and was quick to add, “But I always try to make it as “good” as it can be, given the circumstances and/or grizzly dark mood possessing me that day.”
Social media makes us believe that life is mostly rainbows and unicorns for our “friends” and those we follow. People rarely post the down and out days, possibly because:
- We believe people don’t want to be bothered or burdened by our troubles.
- We don’t want to come across as Negative Nessies or “downers.”
- We hide it for the sake of respecting our loved ones’ privacy. We may not want to share a story that isn’t our story alone to share… i.e., we are struggling with a loved one or struggling because a loved one is suffering. I, for one, would never air on my social media if I am sad because perhaps my daughter, best friend, sister or spouse is hurting or even if we are struggling together.
- We are choosing the escape route of denial of our own tough times and just trying to push forward any way we can. Maybe we don’t want to accept or relive our own bad days or struggles by viewing them on our home pages later on down the road.
When I am struck by a bad day, I often look back at my own social media feed and realize that my life is good(ish!!!) overall and that this feeling right now is just temporary. My feed serves me as a reminder of the happy days I’ve enjoyed over the past few weeks being active and exploring nature, and it actually brings me comfort and inspires me to live my best life as well – just like it does for my dear friend apparently!
What my feed does not often convey, however, is that I have a goal for something different for my future; a complete lifestyle shift that I’m not ready to put forth into the universe (or maybe it’s just the internet!) quite yet since it is still a few plus years off from now. There are days I feel down because I have not quite arrived there yet or because I have experienced a setback. It’s at these times when I look back through my feed, and I am reminded that I am enjoying the journey down this sometimes rocky path but also that WOWSA, I’ve already come pretty far!!!
Because my daughter Audrey gets the minimalist in me, instead of purchasing me a Christmas gift this year, she opted instead to paint inspiring affirmation cards for me. These affirmation cards were very obviously custom designed for my current goals, state of transition, and metamorphosis as I find myself meandering my way through this journey and, at times, on this confusing and ambiguous path of self-change and discovery. The cards go hand in hand with where I’m currently at and also help lead me where I’m trying so intently to arrive. I’m sharing these with you all in case you ever find yourself in need of them… *maybe don’t tell Audrey as this may likely embarrass her?!
For the sake of remaining authentic, honest, and real, and at the risk of sounding like a Negative Nessie, I feel it is time to share one of my recent bad days with you so I can paint you a more accurate picture of who I really am. Keep in mind everybody’s version of a bad day is different, and what was awful for me last year, last month, or last week may seem silly to me now – in fact, I hope it does! My intention is not to trivialize what tough challenges and difficulties you may be going through with this recount of my recent bad day but trivial or not, this was me not living my best day, feeling like I’m not arriving any closer to my future goals and feeling a bit deflated and sorry for myself if I’m being honest! Sigh…
Be certain that there were no smiles underneath my mask in this video. In fact, I may have even edited the sound to expunge the unbecoming expletives that were possibly expressed while filming it! On this cold (freezing rather) day, we were two of maybe ten crazy people on the slopes.
https://video.wixstatic.com/video/921228_ba8bd312bbff4429904d2cf65b5d29ee/1080p/mp4/file.mp4
Snow had permeated my spring skiing jacket – not the best choice for the weather, but I had given away my winter slope wear and gear and had not yet procured adequate replacements. My hands were numb, my goggles had fogged over, and I consequently ended up taking a NASTY fall on the slopes because I could not see even my hand in front of my face. I’m healing, and I’ll be fine, but the only I focussed on that day besides the cold and pain from my fall is that I am NOT totally living the life I want to live. But is anyone living the life they want to live right now? NOOOOO! We are in a global pandemic! Duh – and there’s the feeling sorry for myself part! 😉
https://video.wixstatic.com/video/921228_657b8bce8cf24bd098c906df752963f4/1080p/mp4/file.mp4
In my wallowing of self-pity, I had forgotten all about how life is made up of stepping stones and that the journey is the interesting and fun part because once we arrive… well, maybe we will have a new goal or find a new path that we will want to explore instead. So back to trying to appreciate today for today, my journey, my path, the ups, the downs, and not vesting all of my happiness, gratitude or joy where life may (or may never) take me.
In a nutshell, friends, make today the best day you can make it. Do what you need to do to lift that dark cloud and make your day a tiny bit brighter. Reflect on these affirmation cards, and when the need strikes you, attempt to employ maybe just one of them to help you see a better afternoon, tomorrow, next week, next year…
- It’s just a bad day… not a bad life.
- What am I grateful for today?
- I have everything I need.
- I am worthy of self-love and empowerment.
- What is one thing I can do to achieve my goal today?
- I am enough.
- I am loved by my family.
In case you are curious about my bad day this past week, I chose to employ and focus on the “It is just a bad day, not a bad life” positive affirmation! I hope if needed, it will also serve you well down the road. Also, I am already feeling a bit ridiculous for my “bad day” attitude, but c’e la vie!
Stay real, stay authentic, and always try to keep your chin up, friends!
